When chaos joins worship; tips when children turn worship into playground
Photo: Gerald Farinas.
A lay pastor at a small country church is facing an increasingly common dilemma: How to welcome young families with children while maintaining a worship environment that honors the needs of an older, mostly elderly congregation.
The church recently saw the arrival of a few new visitors, two families with young children.
While their presence has brought new energy to the pews, it’s also introduced unexpected challenges.
According to the pastor, on some Sundays, children have been running through the sanctuary laughing and screaming during worship, leaving most congregants unable to hear the sermon or participate meaningfully in the service. The parents reportedly made little effort to quiet the children.
With no Sunday School program and limited volunteers, the pastor turned to a popular Facebook group for Presbyterians to ask for help.
The response: an outpouring of advice from clergy, parents, and educators across the country who have faced similar situations.
Tips shared by the community
Here are some of the top suggestions from those who responded to similar questions on Facebook and Reddit.
Set clear expectations
Churches can provide laminated “Welcome Families” cards in the pews, outlining basic expectations while affirming that children are always welcome.
Gentle guidance helps parents understand how to balance grace with respect for the congregation’s needs.
Designate a wiggle room
Many responders supported the idea of repurposing an existing back room into a play space.
Stocked with toys and books, the space can offer an option for families when children become restless during the service.
Provide worship activity bags
Quiet distractions can go a long way.
Tote bags filled with crayons, Bible-themed coloring pages, soft toys, or pipe cleaners can keep children engaged without being disruptive.
Some churches rotate the contents weekly to keep them fresh.
Gently address the behavior
Several clergy advised speaking with the parents privately and kindly.
The goal is to express gratitude for their attendance while offering support and gently addressing the disruption.
The tone, they stressed, should always be pastoral, not punitive.
Involve the children
Giving kids small roles during the service like helping with offering plates, lighting candles, or simply drawing pictures inspired by the sermon can foster a sense of belonging and reduce restlessness.
Add a time for young minds, a children’s sermon, bringing the children up to the front and ponder a theme related to the readings of the day.
A church at a crossroads
This situation is not unique.
Across rural and urban congregations alike, churches are struggling to balance the need for renewal with the desire to preserve reverence.
For many older members, worship is a deeply rooted rhythm, and sudden shifts in atmosphere, especially with loud disruptions, can feel jarring.
But, as one commenter noted, “A little holy chaos isn’t the worst thing. sometimes it’s the Spirit moving in unexpected ways.”
The challenge, it seems, is not about choosing between children and quiet.
It’s about creating space where both can exist, where joy and reverence, noise and prayer, can meet under one roof.
For small churches with few resources, that task might feel daunting. But, as this pastor’s story reminds us, even the smallest community can find creative, compassionate ways to live into its mission.
